A Little Honesty…

I’ve gone back and forth on how to write this post.

I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I’ve been home sick for 3 days, that my hormones are crazy this TOM, or that I’ve just been thinking a lot but I feel the need to be honest about a few things…. and I’m hoping some of you can relate.

  • I struggle with self image and accepting complements from others.
  • It’s hard for me to remember how far I’ve come.  I often forget that I lost 53 pounds back in 06-07.  Instead I focus on the weight I gained back (down to just 10 pounds now) and how much more I want to lose.
  • I have really good days where I plan out my meals and use moderation and then I have really bad days where I overindulge and overeat.
  • I enjoy lazy days!  I love hanging out at home (as long as I have things to do), drinking a big cup of coffee, watching TV, surfing the web, and hanging out with friends.
  • I don’t have the urge to work out every day.  Incorporating workouts into my weekly calendar helps me to get to the gym.  It’s all about routine for me.  I’ll be the first to admit that I struggle to go to the gym and even with a routine I still struggle.
  • I never regret going to the gym or working out.  I always leave feeling great!  Now if I could just get to a point where working out is something I just can’t get enough of.
  • I go to Target some days even though I don’t need anything and still manage to spend money.  I need to work on saving more money.
  • I love reading blogs, but sometimes I get insecure because of where I’m at and where others are.

Sometimes it’s easy to paint a pretty picture, and I do have an absolutely beautiful life, but I want to be real with the things I struggle with and the things I am working on.  I have some great goals and am working towards them, one day at  a time.  My BF is great at helping me to focus on my accomplishments and I am learning to not be so hard on myself.  So here are some positives….

  • Since September 2010, I have lost 12 pounds
  • I rejoined a gym in January 2011
  • I’m back to Spin
  • This year, I started a blog!!
  • I am learning to have at least half of my meals be made up of fruits or veggies
  • I am half way done with my Masters degree, graduating in May 2012
  • I am dating a wonderful man and am so happy!

Life is about learning from where you’ve been, remembering how you’ve grown, and taking each day one step at a time.  I am grateful for where I’ve come from and I’m excited about where I’m going.  I do struggle with different insecurities, exercise and dieting, and seeing how far I’ve come but I’m learning.


4 Responses

  1. Hello,
    As I looked over Kath’s blog today your bolg caught my eye so I thought that I would look in. I like your blog title.
    I am a 64 yr. young grandma . I live in Las Vegas and along with my husband, son, daughter-in-law (who i adore and is my best friend), four grandchildren and a bunch of pets between us are moving to Colorado Springs, CO next month. New Life for us … want to get the kids to a better environment and school system.
    Right when I read your today’s entry I felt I could relate to you and I also thought as I had not read my todays “Prayers and Devotions for Daily Living” by Betty J Eadie and that perhaps there would be a word to lift you. By the way Betty Eadie wrote a wonderful book that I just finished called Embraced by the Light. She had bouts with self doubt and depression until she had a near death experience and then decided to share what she learned. You may really enjoy it.
    Anyway…. let’s see what today’s message says ……

    With Growth I Turn Negative To Positive
    We may see people facing one challenge on top of another and wonder whether they can take one more thing. Their growth is enhanced by their willingness to take what appear to be negative events and turn them into something very positive. These individuals continue to grow and expand at a tremendous rate, unlike others whose lives just drift along.
    from The Awakening Heart page 218

    Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you that hope in the Lord. Psalms 31:24

    Father, thank you for blessing my life with courage to experience all that I was sent here to explore. I willingly accept every challenge that will expand my awareness and bless my life to serve others. Bless me as I grow and strengthen me when I am weak. In every trial that would bring me down, help me find the energy that will make me rise again.

    That was the entry for June 19.

    Maybe it will be a some help for you. And me. You have come a long way and old thought patterns sometimes continue to keep us from being comfortable with ourselves and progress. I hope that you will feel love today for yourself. Because YOU ARE TRULY DEARLY LOVED You are a child of a wonderful creator/father who has only your best interest at heart. I pray that today you will feel that love.

    Please forgive me if I have been too forward. I actually have never done this before. Your message moved me thus.
    May the God of all things bright and beautiful bring light to your dear spirit today.

    • Good evening Charyll,

      Thank you so much for your message, kind words, and message of encouragement. I really do appreciate you sharing what was on your heart and the message from your daily devotion. It is greatly appreciated. It really did impact me!

      My brother actually moved to Las Vegas recently. I hope your move to CO Springs goes really, really well and that you enjoy your time there with your family.

      Thank you again! — Ashley

      • Dear Ashley,

        Thank you for your kind wishes. And for letting me know how you feel.
        Most recently I have hoped to be more than I was yesterday…. well, a little more anyway. Meaning I hope to be a blessing here and there.
        I am glad that I helped you today. You know there is so much about this place/ space we live in that we don’t fathom. But there helpers all around and when we are open for help,as you were today, it is sent in one form or another… because God is faithful.
        He can’t be any other. 🙂
        I look forward to returning to your blog.
        Also by seeing what you have done I am encouraged.
        So thank you for your blog.

  2. […] at all!  One of the benefits of being sick though is that I am WELL rested and have had plenty of time to think!  I felt great on Sunday and worked hard to prep for the week ahead.  But what’s hard work […]

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